Seriously! This is bad.
It has been a very Very long time since I experienced the sensation of butterflies in my stomach. This is a wonderful feeling, but also very nausiatic. (if that is the word) It's like eating your favorite icecream in years and you are so overly happy with the taste in your mouth, but then get hit with lightning in your teeth cause it's cold. *sigh* Really now.
If also feel kinda bad about it because, I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for so long. But the sparks are out sorta but love is still there.
Once I read an article about women having up to 12.000 crushes in their lives. And that this mostly happens when they are already in a relationship. But is something natural. As long as I don't do anything about it, it will fade away right?
God I hope so, or else I am scewd.
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There is this awazing cosplayer, he is so goodlooking and sweet, and an hopeless One Piece otaku. I love his creativity.
I stumbeld upon him on facebook through a yaoi page. He was giving the Best cosplay performance EVER. I love Zoro! I really do. He was the reason why I started watching One Piece, and then Sanji came and Yes this is now my #1 OTP Ciel x Sebastian have been replaced.
Personal OTP top 5 (current)
#1 Zosan
#2 SebaCiel
#3 JinxHwoarang
#4 SquallxIrvine
#5 Seifer x Zell
(Yes I have only yaoi OTP's, so what)
But damn this cosplayer. I crush on idols. But never, NEVER have I crushed on cosplayers before. And I'm crushing hard! It's like a smack in the face.
Everything he does is perfect, he's goofy, sexy, smart, and an inspiration. And this is were it get's dangerous for me. He also looks fkin hot in crossplay. I can't drag. I really, REALLY have a weakness for that, I can't! It took me so long to get over Jeffree Star and now this. And I think he is bi, *BIG SIGH* so perfect, we will have that in common. OMG on top of that he even cosplays all my favorite characters. Some of em I don't know but all his One Piece stuff is like OMG.
And this is even more dangerous. Normally when you crush on someone you fantasize about how the sex would be. But with this guy I don't. I just really really wanna spend time with him. Hangout, play videogames. Beat him in Tekken or something. Go see a movie and eat chicken. IDK. Start a otaku shop or whatever. (I had a dream about that, and it was fkin cool, there was like so much manga, and figures and cosplay stuff it was like heaven)
Aarrgg I was so caught up in my fangirl mode that I did something stupid. Yes stupid things happen all the time when fangirl mode is activated
As the founder of organisation M.O.I.S.T and the chairman for SQUEEKERS, I thought it would be a awesome if he could represent us. You know, drop a mention on his page. Or just notice us. That would be awesome.
But as I am used to never getting a respond from cool people, I certainly wasn't expecting a message back. But fangirl mode was activated to rational thinking was NOT an option. So I first emailed him. Waited 3 hours for myself to actually grow the balls to send it. And sended it. After a day or two I was kinda bummed for no response. So I did something even more stupid. I messaged him on Facebook. Yep! I did! I felt like a stalker. And I promised myself to not get more depressed about not recieving responses. And then IT happend.
He responded! #!)!/")*!!!!!?!!!///!)(* was not even close to my real reaction. It felt like my heart would explode when I saw the message in bold, marked as unread on my phone. I took a few minutes to get myself together and told myself that he was declining the question if he could help us out with promoting, or that he would kindly asked to be left alone. But that wasn't the case. He was NICE. Real NICE as in. So sweet and you want your crush to talk to you like that nice. He told me he was so happy and honnored. And he was APPOLEGISING for not responding to the email becauss he was busy. Really so sweet.
Now I sended him another message telling him about the event and that I am hoping to get him overseas to come to SQUEEKERS.
The next message he told me that the graphics were so Gaaaah kawaii!! :3
I really was crying of joy for a moment. I spend So much time on the graphics for SQUEEKERS and now HE just complimented my work. He even wished us luck!
And here comes the MOST stupidest thing I said back. Too much fangirl, Tooo damn much!
Thank you! ^///^ ..... That was it
I could have talked more, something, just something to get the conversation going, like a question. Like when is your music comming out? Or how are you doing? Or anything! But I was so flushed....sigh...I'm so not good at talking to cool/hot/attractive people. I never was.. sigh and now the moment is gone. If I send something now it would be totally awkward. Plus a few days ago a dude on his page also sorta declared his love for him...He is So out of my league. Gosh I really just wanna be friends, but I don't know how to be cool.
Now I can't stop thinking about him. So glad he is out of reach because there is another continent between us. And he is so out of my league. Cause I would never be good enough for someone so awesome like him.
Oh well, crushes come and go. It took me a LONG time but at least I am sorta over Jeffree Star and Bill Kaulitz now. Sorta. So maybe this will fade also.
To ever who is reading this.
If you know who I am talking about, please don't show this to him.
I hope you enjoyed reading all this. Have you ever crushed on a cosplayer before?
Oh well let me know oke.
Greetz,
Disturbia
About DisturbiaofTheMind
Hi, My Name is Hafeez. I am a webdesigner, blogspot developer and UI designer. I am a certified Themeforest top contributor and popular at JavaScript engineers. We have a team of professinal programmers, developers work together and make unique blogger templates.